[As a disclaimer, I do enjoy watching friends play baseball as well as playing an occasional game myself. It is the major leagues I point my comments at.]
"So I see this headline today on the news which says, Congress Says to Clean Up Baseball. Well hey, why not just get rid of it altogether? I mean really, does anybody actually enjoy it? Obviously, the players don't enjoy it. The team owners have to pay them ridiculous amounts of money just to get them to hit a ball with a wooden stick." [Joshkabosh March 18, 2005]
When we say baseball is "America's favorite pastime", is that really the idea we're going for? Is it that we do not have enough to do and so we collectively decided to have a national time-wasting activity?
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The color of an Orange is orange. Yellow juice, however, is not called yellow juice. It is called Orange Juice because it comes from Oranges, which got it's name from being orange. Should not Orange Juice also get it’s name from it’s color as well?
I’m sure the same doofus who came up with this quandary also came up with the whole Hot Dog blunder. If you eat a piece of grilled beef between two pieces of bread, and the only thing you can think to say about it is, “hot dog”, then you would probably be welcomed with open arms in the juice section of the FDA.
I think if juice should have to share the name of it’s origins, for example pineapple juice comes from pineapple and so on, then it should be stated explicitly. Pineapple juice shouldn’t be pineapple juice, it should be Son of Pineapple juice. That way there isn’t any confusion as to what it is that you’re drinking. Asking for orange juice won’t be as confusing…
I ordered orange juice, but this juice is yellow. Take it away.
Juice identity should be very simple. I would like a tall glass of Son of Lemon juice, please.
Unfortunately the concept of “Pink Lemonade” is not something that can be discussed in a public forum such as this one. The idea of “Pink Lemonade” surpasses even the greatest metaphysical poet thus rendering it into an idea of absurdity not yet realized by modern thinking minds, except for the ones working in the juice section of the FDA. Their minds most resemble the electromagnet waves found in the earliest version of Pac-Man, complete with beeping sounds. Scientifically speaking of course.
I digress.
In one sense, juice that is from fruit is more or less the fruits of fruit. Fruit that gives back. Fruit that cares. If you get bored juggling oranges, then you can open it up and eat it. If eating it isn’t enough, you can squeeze the life out of it and make Son of Orange juice.
Life, give me lemons, for fruit is the most generous creature of all.
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A poorly written sentence is more endearing than a well-written sentence. A well-written sentence is only read once, while a poorly written sentence is read time and time again.
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